Part 1: A Clash Over Herbal Remedies
Last night, I had a conflict with my son Yangyang. Before bedtime, I asked him to drink a mixture of Jineijin powder (chicken gizzard lining powder) and Sanqi powder (Panax notoginseng root powder), which are traditional Chinese herbal supplements. He refused, saying, “I don’t want to drink it today.”
Ignoring his protest, I prepared the drink anyway and insisted he take it. But Yangyang, stubborn as always, resisted all my threats and bribes. He acted like he’d “rather face boiling water than surrender” (a Chinese idiom meaning extreme stubbornness). A rational voice in my head warned: “This isn’t worth it. Even if he drinks it, he’ll stay angry.” So I gave up, saying, “I already made it. If you don’t drink it, I’ll deduct 10 yuan from your allowance.”
He burst into tears. I teased him, “You care more about money than your health!” He argued back. To resolve it, I offered: “If you drink it now, I won’t deduct money and will add 2 yuan as a reward.” But he bargained for 10 yuan instead. When I refused, he lowered it to 5. I stood firm, took the drink away, and muttered complaints.
Part 2: Tensions and Reflections
Later, I heard him kicking his blanket in frustration. I stayed silent but felt equally upset. The next morning, Yangyang got ready for school without saying goodbye. His father even panicked, thinking he’d overslept.
All day, I reflected on the incident. I realized my mistake:
I’d been too forceful, even if my intentions were good.
Yangyang needs Sanqi powder weekly for health reasons, but my approach backfired.
He responds better to respect than authority. Like “Liu Hulan” (a historical figure symbolizing unyielding courage), he resists pressure.
Part 3: A Softer Approach
That evening, I tried a calmer strategy when Yangyang returned home.
Step 1: Rebuilding Connection
After joking about his rush to the bathroom, I offered his favorite pears. As he ate, I asked:
Me: “You mentioned I haven’t massaged you lately. Know why?”
Yangyang: “You’re busy with work.”
Step 2: Explaining My Responsibilities
I shared my struggles:
Running a startup (selling moxibustion products).
Managing factory inventory and paying workers.
Yangyang surprisingly offered to help sell products, but his father suggested a school survey:
Ask classmates if their grandparents use moxibustion.
Offer free samples to promote the brand.
Yangyang refused, calling sales “boring.” His dad joked, “You lasted one second as a salesperson!”
Step 4: A Small Victory
I handed him the Sanqi powder again. This time, he drank it willingly but grumbled, “You only care about money!”
I replied honestly: “I care about money and health. I eat, sleep, and work to balance both.”
Part 4: Lessons Learned
Parenting Truths:
Older kids = New challenges: I’ve lost the patience I had when Yangyang was younger.
Communication matters: Yesterday’s fight vs. today’s calm talk had completely different outcomes.
Work-Life Balance: While I love my job (helping clients improve their health with moxibustion), I must also nurture my role as a mother.
Part 5: A Promise for Change
Today, a client thanked me for improving her health through moxibustion. It reminded me why my work matters. But Yangyang’s words also hit hard: “You’re a business owner, but you’re still my mom.”
My Resolution:
Stop being a “harsh mom”
Guide him with patience, not force.
Balance entrepreneurship and motherhood.